Dinner with the Mod's

Nervous and very excited at the same time, I arrived at the Modafferi's for dinner around 7:00pm or so. I have never been around a family with a missing child so this was all brand new territory for me.

I have some memories burned into my memory about that night that I want to share with you.

The first thing I remember was seeing Kristen's baby sister Meghan, 7, sitting on the kitchen floor coloring pumpkins in a coloring book. I said 'Hi' to her but didn't get much of a response. Meghan was into her pumpkins!

The next thing that made a real impression on me was that I learned the Debbie cooked the meal herself. Debbie whipping up a wonderful dinner is something I have come to realize she can do in her sleep. This was different though, because of the timing.

Back during those first few frantic months, neighbors and friends insisted on preparing meals for the Mod's so that they could spend their time on more important matters.

During the meal, I learned that it was the first time in a while that Debbie herself cooked the meal. She mentioned she did so because I was their guest and she wanted to personally cook that night. Debbie is a very easy person to like. As you can imagine, it made an impression on me.

Then there is Lauren! What can I tell you about Lauren? Lauren is the third of four daughters born to Bob and Debbie. When Kristin vanished, the girls were Allison (20), Kristen (18), Lauren (15) and Meghan (7). My first memory of Lauren was looking up and seeing her placing a plate of food on the kitchen table. Lauren is very pretty and very popular. It bacame very apparant very quickly that the phone in the Mod's house belonged to Lauren. She just kindly allowed the rest of her family to use it once in a while.

While in San Francisco, I would call back to the Mod's probably 6 nights each week to share with them what I was doing that day and to ask then for guidance. I would say withought exxageration, Lauren was already on the phone 70% of the time.

That was never a problem because Lauren knew that I was calling about her sister so she ALWAYS immediately said goodnight to whoever she was talking to (Chad) and gave the phone to her parents.

Allison was away at college at NC State so she wasn't there that night.

Dinner was very nice but still, I was nervous. During dinner we really didn't speak about Kristen, which surprised me a little. Like I said, my nerves were still getting the best of me so I just went with the flow.

I remember thinking that for a family with a missing child, they were acting very normal. One of the first things I said to Bob that evening dealt with this observation.

"Bob", I said, "forgive me, but coming over here tonight, I half expected you to be rolled up in the corner of the room over there."

Bob responded, "Dennis, we have three other daughters and as hard as this is for us, we want to make sure we create as normal an enviroment for our other girls as possible."

I wrote in my prologue that Bob and Debbie are very, very sad and that they are also very, very strong. That is just one example of what I am speaking about.

After dinner the table was cleared. Lauren went back to her telephone while Meghan practiced coloring between the lines.

The important part of the evening was just beginning. Debbie placed on the table several large three ring binders that held all of her hopes. Every morsel of information was in those books.

I didn't enter the picture until four months into Kristen's disappearance so I had plenty of catching up to do.

The first person I remember hearing about was a student named Kevin Wronski. He attended NC Sate with Kristen and just before school let out they were beginning to become close friends. The semester ended before anything more developed between them.

As I'm talking the phone rings and on the phone is a family friend from the neighborhood. she was my first introduction of people who claim to have psychic abilities. Debbie was speaking to her and wanted to introduce me so I get on the phone.

The psychic didn't paint a pretty picture for me but she did force me to confront an issue I would be dealing with time and time again.

What to share with the Mod's?: I hung up the phone and looked up to see Bob and Debbie both staring right at me. "What did she say?", they wanted to know. 

Geez, what to do here? I had no idea so I decided just to tell them what I was truly feeling.

"Bob and Debbie, how do I handle any information that comes to me before I have a chance to verify it either way? You guys have it rough enough...what do you want me to do?"

They were ready for me. "Dennis, " Bob began, "my wife and I have already had this discussion and we both 100% want to know everything. We don't care what the news is. We are Kirsten's parents and she is our daughter. Whatever you do, please don't hold anything back from us."

That was good enough for me. I promised them I would always tell them everything. It was more than a promise. To me, it was a covenant, and in the succeeding years, that has proven to be a trouble spot between the investigators and myself. I'll get into that later.

By the end of the evening, there was no doubt I was going. I told the Mod's I needed three days to get things in order. I was very happy they allowed me to go.

Things were all set and then my world caved in all around me.