Meeting the Mod's was quite a trip! I just saw them the prior evening on TV hanging flyers on telephone polls in Oakland, Ca. I knew that there would be a powerful need for donations to help bring this young woman home and that was something I could do. As I said, their address was listed in the phonebook so it was just a matter of getting a map out and finding where 'Plantation Drive' was.
I got into my van and headed over to their home. I just figured that a neighbor or family member would be babysitting the house (if there were other children). My intent was simply to knock on the door, express my sympathy, make my donation to whomever was minding the house and then politely say goodbye.
AsI mentioned earlier, I had been searching for something in the 'social arena' to commit my life to, but I didn't know just what. Ever since seeing the update on Kristen, it was certainly my 'Road to Damascus" moment, and I knew this was something that I needed to do be doing.
I thought to myself that I would spend the next few days learning everything I could about Kristen Modafferi and as soon as the parent's were back in town, I would find a way to meet them and offer to personally go look for Kristen.
At this point in the saga, I had no way of knowing for sure, but I suspected the the search for Kristin wasn't approaching the 'Govenor calling out the National Guard' stage. I simply figured that if I went out there and literally asked a thousand people if they knew anything about where Kristen was, something would eventually shake loose and we could get her back home. In my own mind I was figuring I would be in the San Fran Bay area two weeks at the most.
That was 5 years ago.
I was able to find the Modafferi home easily enough. They live in an upscale neighborhood in Charlotte and by all outward appearances have been able to create a perfect enviroment in which to raise a family.
"There it is. There's the Modafferi home!" My heart began to race. I was plenty nervous because I had never done anything like this before. I don't know how to explain it, but it was an uncomfortable feeling for me.
I walked up to the front door and rang the bell. Bob Modafferi himself answered the door. I couldn't believe it! I just saw him on TV in California. He was definately the guy I saw on TV the night before. Two questions were running in my mind. 1st) What the heck was he doing in Charlotte and 2nd) What the hell am I going to say to him?
I said something stupid like, "Hi, are you Mr. Modafferi? "
"Yes", he said.
I continued; "Mr. Modafferi, I saw the story on TV and I just want you to know I'm very sorry. I came by to make a contribution to your search for your daughter. ( I was nervous as hell...I mean, what does one say to a parent who cannot find his child?)
Fortunately, Bob took over from there and he went out of his way to put me at ease. "I was just in San Francisco yesterday. My wife and I flew the redeye and we just got back this morning" Bob invited me inside and all that did was just make me more nervous.
I stepped inside his beautiful home and it only took one second to realize that this was a man who clearly had a long run of making smart deciscions in his life because he had a beautiful home in one of the nicer neighborhoods in Charlotte. To sum it up, Bob Modafferi is a good provider.
I nervously began speaking about how terrible it was that his daughter could not be found. I asked if he would accept donations and if I remember correctly, he seemed to accept mine more as a way of being polite than anything else.
So now I am in the foyer of his home and my adrenaline is sky high. Just meeting the guy made me want to go straight to the airport and fly to California! Screw it, I thought to myself, I am going to offer to go look for his daughter right now. I knew this is what I wanted, and most importantly, I honestly felt I could find Kristen relatively easily.
The point of no return.
"Mr.Modafferi," I began, " I have something I need to speak with you about. Before I commit to anything, I need to take care of several personal things in my life. However, if I can arrange my personal life in the way I hope I can, that would free up some time for me. I'd like to personally go to California and look for your daughter."
Believe it or not, Bob said "No" to my offer. I was stunned. One of the biggest moments in my life, certainly the biggest commitment in my life, and the guy shoots me down!
I can't exactly remember his reasoning, but I do remember I at least peaked his interest enough because now he invites me into his kitchen to sit down and talk this out a little bit.
We talked very generally for a few moments and then I looked up and saw, for the first time, one of the most impressive people I have ever known.
Debbie Modafferi, Kristin's mom, had come downstairs, having just awoken from a nap after flying in from the west coast. I still remember she was wearing jeans and a red turtleneck shirt. Debbie seemed to be in a good mood which caught me off guard. Now that I know her so well, I know that it wasn't that she was in such a good mood, Debbie was just being friendly.
Her first words to me were, "Hi, are you a private investigator?" I quickly assured her that I wasn't because I had imagined every P.I. east of the Mississippi was offering the Mod's their services for a fee and I definately wasn't coming from that angle.
Bob had explained that I came by to donate some money and then explained the offer to his wife. "Dennis wants to go to California and look for Kristen." Bob said to Debbie.
I almost choked when I heard him say that.
That was getting way ahead of the game. I still had to set my personal life (job, apartment, etc) in order before I even thought about making the commitment. To say that to a devastated mother only to withdraw the offer was not something I wanted to ever do.
Secretly to myself, however, I was happy that he said that because if anything it just nudged me further in the direction I needed to be going.
I told the Mod's that I could provide strong references because I had managed the Homeless shelter in Charlotte and I knew Congresswomen Sue Myrick would vouch for me. John Sullivan, a personal friend, would also vouch for me. John, at the time had a local talk show and is very well known in Charlotte.
They still didn't agree. Debbie wanted to know more about me and invited me over to dinner two days later so that we could get to know each other better. I thanked Debbie for the invitation to dinner and assured her that I would be there.
The Mod's walked me to the front door as I was leaving. The subject turned to John Hancock, a local talkshow host on WBT. He had his talk show daily 9a-12 noon 5 days each week and was the setup talent for Rush Limbaugh who came on at noon.
John is forever on Page One of my hero book. Several years earlier I had literally Walked Across America (San Diego to Myrtle Beach, SC) as a fundraiser for a Family Shelter I wanted to run in Charlotte. At the time, families were split up. The men would stay at the mens shelter and the women and childen were sent to a separate location. I wanted to keep the families intact.
In any case, the idea was solid and my own commitment held true and carried me the 3,000 miles across the good ole USA. (I'm glad I did it but I will NEVER do that again.!)
I lacked an important ingredient which was strong organizational skills that needed to be set in place before I left.
Bottom line is that although I made it across the country, the financial infrastructure while I was gone did not hold together. John Hancock got on the radio and basically told the community I was totally committed to my cause. As a result, most of the money that came in was a direct result of John Hancock.
I was able to finance the shelter for about a year. It was a challenge, to be sure. In any cae, I will always rememeber John Hancock for what he did when he certainly did not have to.
Anyway, Bob Modafferi told me an interesting story about Hancock. Bob was frantically trying to think of anything he could do to help his daughter. He knew the media was critically important and like every other talk radio fan, Bob was very familiar with John Hancock.
So he calls Hancock on his business line at the radio station and leaves a message. He identifies himself as Kristen Modafferi's father and asks John to please call him back.
A few days go by and no Hancock. Bob tries again. A few more days go by and again...no Hancock. Now Bob is disappointed in John and decides to make one more phone call. I am paraphrasing here:
"John, this is Bob Modafferi. This is the third time I have called you. My daughter is missing and the reason I have been calling is to ask if you could devote some airtime to help our family get the word out about our daughter. I don't care if you deny my request, and I am just saddened by the fact that you don't have the courtesy to at least return my phone calls. I listen to you quite often on the radio and I just had you pegged for being better than that."
A short while after that, Bob recieves a call from John and he could not have been more apologetic. He went out of his way to let Bob know that 'Yes' he was in fact alot better person than that' and that all Bob had to do was name it and John would do anything.
I remember Bob telling me how bothered John was at 'himself' over this matter and that Bob really appreciated it. John later went on to lead a Beany Baby fundraiser drive that raised money for the Mod's.
John Hancock was the first thing the Mod's and I had in common. With that, I said goodbye and drove back to my apartment. It was an important day!
